How to Start the Divorce Process: A Step by Step Guide
Starting the divorce process can feel overwhelming, but understanding the steps involved can help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
Making the decision to separate is rarely easy. Many people find themselves dealing with a mix of emotions - uncertainty, sadness, relief, or even anxiety about what comes next. In the early stages, it’s important to take things one step at a time.
Alongside the legal process, there are practical and emotional steps that can help you feel more in control as you begin this new chapter. We always advise speaking with an experienced family law solicitor before moving ahead.
Starting the Divorce Process: First Practical Steps
Before beginning the formal divorce process, it can help to pause and consider your situation carefully.
Talking to Your Partner
Where possible, an open and calm conversation can help set the tone for what follows. While this may not always be easy, early communication can reduce misunderstandings, help manage expectations and make practical arrangements smoother.
Not every separation will be amicable, but where communication is possible, it can make a significant difference.
In some cases, couples may also want to explore a separation agreement to record practical arrangements while longer-term decisions are being worked through
Building a Support Network
You do not have to go through this alone. Support may come from family and close friends, counsellors or therapists or support groups. Having people that you trust to talk to can help you process what’s happening and make decisions more clearly.
Looking After Your Wellbeing
Divorce is not just a legal process - it is a life change.
Simple steps like maintaining routines, prioritising sleep and giving yourself space to think can help you stay grounded. Looking after your wellbeing can also help you approach decisions more calmly.
What to Prepare Before Applying for Divorce
Understanding your financial position early is key.
Before formally starting the divorce process, you may want to:
- Make a note of income, savings and debts
- Gather documents such as bank statements and mortgage details
- Consider your monthly outgoings
- Think about future financial needs
This doesn’t need to be perfect at this stage, but having a basic overview can help you feel more prepared when discussions begin and could raise some questions that you want to ask your lawyer.
It can also help to understand the wider financial considerations in divorce, including how the court approaches fair outcomes
Should You Speak to a Family Lawyer Before Applying?
Many people assume they should only speak to a solicitor once divorce proceedings have started. In reality, early advice can be very helpful.
An initial conversation with a family lawyer can:
- Explain your options clearly
- Help you understand the process
- Identify any immediate risks or priorities
- Provide reassurance about what to expect
This is not about escalating conflict - it is about being informed.
How to Start the Divorce Process Legally
In England and Wales, the divorce process is now based on a “no-fault” system.
Step 1: Submitting the Divorce Application
One or both parties can apply for a divorce online. This is known as the divorce application.
The applicant confirms that as far as they are concerned, the marriage has irretrievably broken down - there is no need to assign blame or explain why they believe the marriage has broken down and cannot be fixed.
Step 2: The 20-Week Reflection Period
Once the application is issued, the other party is notified (unless of course it was a joint application by both parties and then of course you are both simply informed the application has been processed). There is then a minimum 20-week reflection period before the next stage.
This time allows both parties to consider arrangements for finances and children.
Step 3: Apply for a Conditional Order
After the reflection period, the party (or parties) who made the application can apply for a Conditional Order (previously known as the decree nisi). This confirms the court sees no reason why the divorce cannot proceed and will usually be pronounced in 3-4 weeks.
Step 4: Apply for the Final Order
The final stage is the Final Order (previously decree absolute), which legally ends the marriage and can be applied for 6 weeks after the Conditional Order of divorce is pronounced.
It is important to consider financial arrangements before applying for the Final Order, as it can have legal and financial implications – in many situations is often best to await a resolution to financial negotiations before applying for a Final Order of Divorce.
Divorce, Finances and Children: What Is Dealt With Separately?
The divorce itself legally ends the marriage, but it does not resolve financial matters or arrangements for children. These are dealt with separately and may include:
- Financial settlements (property, savings, pensions)
- Child arrangements (where children live and spend time) - if one parent is considering moving home, it is worth understanding the legal position on relocating with a child after separation before making plans.
These are often the trickier parts of the divorce to negotiate and reach agreement on, as they are more emotionally charged than the divorce paperwork itself. This is why specialist family lawyers are often instructed to keep matters moving in the right direction, ensure conversations remain professional, advise on responses and pull in other professionals, such as mediators or financial advisors where needed.
If you have children, understanding parental responsibility can be important when making decisions about schooling, medical treatment and day-to-day care after separation
Reaching agreement early on finances and children can help reduce stress and avoid lengthy disputes.
Where agreement cannot be reached on finances or child arrangements, it may help to understand what family court hearings involve and when they may become necessary.
Moving Forward with the Divorce Process
Starting the divorce process can feel like a big step. Breaking it down into manageable stages -emotional, practical and legal - can make it feel more achievable.
There is no “right” way to approach separation, but having the right support and information can make a significant difference.
If you are considering divorce, an initial conversation with our family solicitors can help you understand your options and take the next step with confidence.
Disclaimer: The content of this website blog is for general awareness and insight. This is not legal or professional advice and readers should not act upon the information provided, they should seek professional advice based on their own particular circumstances. The law may have changed since this article was published.
FAQs
Do I need a reason to start a divorce?
No. Under the no-fault system, you simply confirm that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
How long does the divorce process take?
The process typically takes a minimum of around 5-6 months, depending on timing and circumstances.
Do we have to go to court?
Not usually. Most divorces are handled online or through paperwork, unless disputes arise.
Should I sort finances before finalising the divorce?
It is generally advisable to resolve financial matters before applying for the Final Order.